Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.
Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
Not because of who I am.
But because what of you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.
Chorus: I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Secret Santa
So we've been doing secret Santas this past week (like we do every year)
and I am having so much fun!
I think that I'm the sneakiest secret Santa ever. Nobody can figure out who Caroline has (because I have Caroline) and nobody can figure out who Nichole has. It's so much fun, and everybody is absolutely convinced that I have Kate. It's so great.
But even more than being sneaky it's been so much fun just to bless Caroline with stuff everyday. I wish that I could do it for everybody! Leave fun notes with cryptic messages on them, chocolate, a gift, something random (i.e. a tiara, an ornament, coloring book, etc), and a free hug coupon. It's just so neat. Tomorrow she's getting a crossword that has the message "Hola sabes quien soy? soy erincita!" and Hershey kisses and a coloring book with crayons and flowers.
And then it's also so much fun to know that something special is heading your way. Like today, I made a 56 on a calculus test and didn't do well on my Spanish speaking final but then I went into Language Arts and got an entire bag of 3 musketeer bars, an Enchanted coloring book with smelly crayons, and a pen that had bubbles in it that I can blow. My day was so good after that! It totally put me back in the right mood, and even though I know that Kristen has me, the mystery of it all is so much fun too!
That's pretty much what I've been thinking about today
Mystery.
Why people are drawn to it
and Why they feel the need to solve it
I mean I guess it's in our nature to want what we can't have and to know the secrets of the earth, I mean look at Adam and Eve, their original sin was having the desire to have the knowledge of good and evil because they thought they were missing out on something. They couldn't trust God that He knew what He was doing. I think that we're still the same. We always have to know everything because we like feeling included. I think that's why so many people fall into the temptation of gossiping. It's nice to know secrets and then flaunting to others that you know the secrets, you are included. But why do people feel the need to be included? Is it just a question of pride? a question of identity?
I used to pray a lot for God to give me understanding, for Him to give me knowledge. But I was asking for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be smart, I wanted to know all of God's secrets, all of His mysteries. I wanted to solve God. Not because I loved Him, but because I wanted to contain Him. I now realize that God only gives us understanding when it is necessary for us to live out His will. That's why He's sovereign and just. And He does that not so He can torture us but so He can protect us against our sin, like he tried to protect Adam and Eve.
Well those are my thoughts
Sleep time
woohoo Tomorrow is Friday!
and I am having so much fun!
I think that I'm the sneakiest secret Santa ever. Nobody can figure out who Caroline has (because I have Caroline) and nobody can figure out who Nichole has. It's so much fun, and everybody is absolutely convinced that I have Kate. It's so great.
But even more than being sneaky it's been so much fun just to bless Caroline with stuff everyday. I wish that I could do it for everybody! Leave fun notes with cryptic messages on them, chocolate, a gift, something random (i.e. a tiara, an ornament, coloring book, etc), and a free hug coupon. It's just so neat. Tomorrow she's getting a crossword that has the message "Hola sabes quien soy? soy erincita!" and Hershey kisses and a coloring book with crayons and flowers.
And then it's also so much fun to know that something special is heading your way. Like today, I made a 56 on a calculus test and didn't do well on my Spanish speaking final but then I went into Language Arts and got an entire bag of 3 musketeer bars, an Enchanted coloring book with smelly crayons, and a pen that had bubbles in it that I can blow. My day was so good after that! It totally put me back in the right mood, and even though I know that Kristen has me, the mystery of it all is so much fun too!
That's pretty much what I've been thinking about today
Mystery.
Why people are drawn to it
and Why they feel the need to solve it
I mean I guess it's in our nature to want what we can't have and to know the secrets of the earth, I mean look at Adam and Eve, their original sin was having the desire to have the knowledge of good and evil because they thought they were missing out on something. They couldn't trust God that He knew what He was doing. I think that we're still the same. We always have to know everything because we like feeling included. I think that's why so many people fall into the temptation of gossiping. It's nice to know secrets and then flaunting to others that you know the secrets, you are included. But why do people feel the need to be included? Is it just a question of pride? a question of identity?
I used to pray a lot for God to give me understanding, for Him to give me knowledge. But I was asking for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be smart, I wanted to know all of God's secrets, all of His mysteries. I wanted to solve God. Not because I loved Him, but because I wanted to contain Him. I now realize that God only gives us understanding when it is necessary for us to live out His will. That's why He's sovereign and just. And He does that not so He can torture us but so He can protect us against our sin, like he tried to protect Adam and Eve.
Well those are my thoughts
Sleep time
woohoo Tomorrow is Friday!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Stranger in a strange land
The most frustrating thing for me, I think, is being misunderstood
and not the annoying teenage "nobody understands me" type of frustration, but the genuine annoyence when somebody doesn't even try to see from your point of view.
For me, this happens a lot with dating
Everytime I explain to a person my dating views I have to brace myself for the retaliation.
I have chosen not to date for very specific reasons.
One, I don't what to date anybody I'm not going to marry (forgive the melodrama), and since I am no where near the age of marrying I have a while to worry about it
Two, I am saving myself for whoever I marry. And I'm not just talking sex. I'm talking emotions, feelings, other physical stuff (i.e. holding hands, ect). I want to be able to give my husband all of me, and if I've already fallen in love with somebody else or have had strong feelings for somebody else, then there will always be a part of me I'm holding back.
Three, I don't see dating as practicing ( I actually think that's a bit rediculous), I think you can tell what you like and don't like in the opposite sex from being friends with somebody. Dating is just an excuse to get physical.
Four, I trust God. I have had a lot of people ask me how I would know if what I was feeling was real if I'd never been serious with anyone else. The answer is simple, I trust God. Jeremiah 29: 11. If I put my faith in Him, He will bless my marriage and lead me down the right path. And it's more than marriage. I trust God in life. With college. With my family. With Altaer. It's so hard to explain to somebody who doesn't know Jesus why I do abnormal things and trust that everything will turn out okay in the end.
see anecdote **
I suppose that when I tell a person all of this they might automatically think that I'm condeming their love life, and so they might get defensive, but I'm not. Everyody is different, God doesn't make cookie-cutter creations. And He has different plans for everybody, this is just the way I feel God has called me to follow Him, and so I'll honor Him with my love life. It's going to be worth it one day. Hebrews 10:23 I hold onto that Hope because God is faithful.
Now, that leads into more questions
Can a male and a female be close friends without letting emotions get in the way?
My heart inside of me wants to say yes, but I suppose it'd be awfully tricky.
I'll have to get back to that later when I have a little bit more knowledge.
**So today at lunch a friend and I were talking about college, a particular college that I'd like to go to and I feel called to go to, and she was saying all of this bad stuff about how that college was terrible to go to if I wanted to get into medical school. I was a bit frustrated with her because I felt like she was putting so much stock into what other people did and said in stead of putting her stock in God's faithfulness. God is bigger than any medical school and any college, He can do the impossible, and if I don't get into medical school, then God is obviously trying to tell me to do something else in life.
I love my friend, but she's very much a Martha and I'm very much a Mary. And sometimes she yells at me for not helping out and sitting and listening in stead. I wish she would allow more peace in her life. I mean for goodness sake we are free aren't we? Why can't we live like it? Sometimes we still live like we're in chains...but we're not! the grave is empty!
and now I've turned preacher
awesome
maybe I won't go to medical school
and I'll preach on the streets of Atlanta in stead
Well...God's will :)
and not the annoying teenage "nobody understands me" type of frustration, but the genuine annoyence when somebody doesn't even try to see from your point of view.
For me, this happens a lot with dating
Everytime I explain to a person my dating views I have to brace myself for the retaliation.
I have chosen not to date for very specific reasons.
One, I don't what to date anybody I'm not going to marry (forgive the melodrama), and since I am no where near the age of marrying I have a while to worry about it
Two, I am saving myself for whoever I marry. And I'm not just talking sex. I'm talking emotions, feelings, other physical stuff (i.e. holding hands, ect). I want to be able to give my husband all of me, and if I've already fallen in love with somebody else or have had strong feelings for somebody else, then there will always be a part of me I'm holding back.
Three, I don't see dating as practicing ( I actually think that's a bit rediculous), I think you can tell what you like and don't like in the opposite sex from being friends with somebody. Dating is just an excuse to get physical.
Four, I trust God. I have had a lot of people ask me how I would know if what I was feeling was real if I'd never been serious with anyone else. The answer is simple, I trust God. Jeremiah 29: 11. If I put my faith in Him, He will bless my marriage and lead me down the right path. And it's more than marriage. I trust God in life. With college. With my family. With Altaer. It's so hard to explain to somebody who doesn't know Jesus why I do abnormal things and trust that everything will turn out okay in the end.
see anecdote **
I suppose that when I tell a person all of this they might automatically think that I'm condeming their love life, and so they might get defensive, but I'm not. Everyody is different, God doesn't make cookie-cutter creations. And He has different plans for everybody, this is just the way I feel God has called me to follow Him, and so I'll honor Him with my love life. It's going to be worth it one day. Hebrews 10:23 I hold onto that Hope because God is faithful.
Now, that leads into more questions
Can a male and a female be close friends without letting emotions get in the way?
My heart inside of me wants to say yes, but I suppose it'd be awfully tricky.
I'll have to get back to that later when I have a little bit more knowledge.
**So today at lunch a friend and I were talking about college, a particular college that I'd like to go to and I feel called to go to, and she was saying all of this bad stuff about how that college was terrible to go to if I wanted to get into medical school. I was a bit frustrated with her because I felt like she was putting so much stock into what other people did and said in stead of putting her stock in God's faithfulness. God is bigger than any medical school and any college, He can do the impossible, and if I don't get into medical school, then God is obviously trying to tell me to do something else in life.
I love my friend, but she's very much a Martha and I'm very much a Mary. And sometimes she yells at me for not helping out and sitting and listening in stead. I wish she would allow more peace in her life. I mean for goodness sake we are free aren't we? Why can't we live like it? Sometimes we still live like we're in chains...but we're not! the grave is empty!
and now I've turned preacher
awesome
maybe I won't go to medical school
and I'll preach on the streets of Atlanta in stead
Well...God's will :)
Monday, December 10, 2007
Division
So I've been thinking a lot lately about unity in Christ
It can either be easy or hard
easy if EVERYONE on your team has Christ in the center of their goals and plans, and hard if they don't.
So in the end, you can tell yourself that it's really because we all have different personalities because that's just the way God made us, but I think that's a lot of crap I told myself to make it all okay. In truth, I think that it's more about Christ, and all being on th same page in how we're serving Him. Because, after all, if the group's purpose is to serve Christ together as a team, and that clearly isn't bearing any fruit then something has to be off.
But what can you do to encourage unity?
You obviously cannot put Christ in the center of other peoples' lives for them, that has to be something between them and their Creator. You could hold a person accountable, but what if they don't listen? Then maybe the just don't belong in the group at all? I think it's part of being "the weakest link", if you're not serving the group's purpose (i.e. glorifying God and NOT yourself) then why are you even in the group to begin with?
Leadership can be tricky sometimes.
Actually all the time,
learning the right balance of strength and mercy
firmness and tenderness
I guess at the end I am left asking myself:
What would Jesus do?
It can either be easy or hard
easy if EVERYONE on your team has Christ in the center of their goals and plans, and hard if they don't.
So in the end, you can tell yourself that it's really because we all have different personalities because that's just the way God made us, but I think that's a lot of crap I told myself to make it all okay. In truth, I think that it's more about Christ, and all being on th same page in how we're serving Him. Because, after all, if the group's purpose is to serve Christ together as a team, and that clearly isn't bearing any fruit then something has to be off.
But what can you do to encourage unity?
You obviously cannot put Christ in the center of other peoples' lives for them, that has to be something between them and their Creator. You could hold a person accountable, but what if they don't listen? Then maybe the just don't belong in the group at all? I think it's part of being "the weakest link", if you're not serving the group's purpose (i.e. glorifying God and NOT yourself) then why are you even in the group to begin with?
Leadership can be tricky sometimes.
Actually all the time,
learning the right balance of strength and mercy
firmness and tenderness
I guess at the end I am left asking myself:
What would Jesus do?
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