Fear is like a web,
one slip and you're stuck
and the harder you fight
the more you are consumed
until you are immobilized
completely
Stuck
All you can do is sit helpless and
try your best to wiggle your way out
completely knowing that you are defeated
and that there is nothing you can do about it.
Doubt is like a pair of sunglasses,
you choose to put them on
they dim to glory of God
and cause the world to look grim
they eclipse hope
Suddenly you've forgotten what the light
looks like
you forget that it's there
you forget that it's good
fear and doubt together is Hell
completely bound and without hope
I have to get it in my head
that the Lord will fight for me,
I need only be still (Exodus 14:14)
I can't see that God is cutting the cords
of the web for me because I am trying
so hard to get unstuck
that I wiggle back further into the web
I fool myself into thinking that I have
to get out by own power because I was the
one who slipped. But that's not how grace works.
And what's worse, I don't even notice
that God is working for my good
because I'm so frustrated at my own human failure
I don't even see that I have somebody
fighting for me, and I sink even deeper into despair
I cannot see the dawn in the darkness
because my sunglasses have blinded me
because they've become so tinted
I forgot it was me who put them
there in the first place.
Lord,
Help me to realize my need for you
to understand how inadequate I am
but to not be discouraged
but run into you arms all the more
give me the strength to throw off the sunglasses
to choose trust instead of doubt
to remember your faithfulness in the past
Fill me my savior my King
I love you so much
you are everything
"He brought me out into a spacious place
he rescued me because he delighted in me" :)
2 Samuel 22:20
